Rule 1 - Forget all rules
Posted ordinances and bans mostly draw a yawn - or spray paint
By James B. Meadow, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)
Friday, July 25, 2008
A skateboarder at Civic Center apparently doesn't know that the activity is banned. Rules mostly are ignored at the park.
Thou shalt not skateboard.
Yeah, right.
Thou shalt not traffic in drugs.
Pul-eese.
Thou shalt not disturb the peace of others.
Stop it, you're killing me.
Hey, don't look now but all is not copacetic in The Park. At least not if you subscribe to the Gospel known as (a tad redundantly) Denver Parks and Recreation Park Rules.
These rules are posted in at least two spots in The Park. At one - the Voorhies Memorial - part of the sign is vandalized. Maybe that's why some folks don't know of the ban on skating, drugs or motorized vehicles.
Thank goodness there's an unblemished list of the Gospel on a garbage can right in front of the On the War Trail statue. In case you're wondering under what auspices the Authors of the Gospel can curtail your fun, the answer is Chapter 39 of the Revised Municipal Code.
But, even if you miss this itinerary of taboos, only 40 yards away - affixed to another trash can - is a sign that warns: NO skateboarding or roller skating allowed by virtue of Ordinance #39-20-A, which sounds way cooler than some vague reference to a chapter.
Before we go on, the thought occurs there may be some folks who don't know what they're not supposed to do in The Park.
So, in the interests of public service, let's visit some of the 13 tenets of the Gospel. FYI, these comments come courtesy of Park Insiders, people who know The Park well but for reasons having to do with their well-being want to stay in the shadows.
Did you know "Disturbing the peace of others" is banned? That might come as a surprise to the combatants in what one Insider calls "hobo fights, dealer-and-junkie fights, junkie-and-junkie fights" or "those guys who flash young girls."
There's also a ban on "Selling or consuming wine or hard liquor." All you have to do is check the trees , the portable toilets or the garbage cans to see what kind of effect this ban is having.
And, while we're on the subject of hootch, what's up with the fact that beer isn't banned? "I guess they think a 40 (a 40-ounce can of malt liquor) is OK," says another Insider.
What really makes one Insider's head shake is no "Damage to park property." After you've seen sprinkler heads destroyed by denizens angry at being doused at night, or the handiwork of taggers that can't be removed because the stone walls are sponge-like, you get cynical.
At this point, it seems only fair to ask the Authors of the Gospel what they think. So we do. And, so from the desk of Parks spokeswoman Jill McGranahan:
"We would like every citizen to respect the rules, regulations and laws that pertain to our parks. The Denver Park Ranger program is designed primarily to help educate the public about park use, but we work closely with the Denver Police Department to ensure that public safety is paramount. If a situation arises that could jeopardize public safety . . . then the police department is immediately contacted and the situation dealt with appropriately."
Still, there is one thing we're curious about. Since there are no "NO" signs, is it legal to go into the Seal Pond? Plenty do, including the ones PI calls tea bags. "They get in the water and all the dirt comes off them like tea. Pretty gross."
Also another no-no according to the Authors of the Gospel.
"To confirm, wading is not allowed in any of our fountains, including Seal Pond. However, with the recent resurfacing of the pond, it has come to our attention that visible signage needs to be replaced."
Which begs the question: Do the Authors of the Gospel ever employ invisible signage?
And if so, what kind of ink do they use to tell you the reason you can't wade in the pond is because of Ordinance 39-13(d) of the park Gospel.
Amen.
meadowj@RockyMountainNews.com or 303-954-2606
Post your comment
Registration is required. Click here to create your free user account, or login below.
Comments are the sole responsibility of the person posting them. You agree not to post comments that are off topic, defamatory, obscene, abusive, threatening or an invasion of privacy. Violators may be banned. Click here for our full user agreement.
July 25, 2008
1 a.m.
Suggest removal
SL10 writes:
Yeah, we already people that live in the park are low life scum. So, what else is new? *shrugs*
July 25, 2008
4:36 a.m.
Suggest removal
gwats writes:
Perhaps they should put this place on a tour for the DNC delegates.
July 25, 2008
5:53 a.m.
Suggest removal
warrengfunk7 writes:
Why should skateboarding be banned? that's dumb. Ban homeless and drug dealers, not recreation.
July 25, 2008
7:04 a.m.
Suggest removal
yaakovwatkins writes:
I don't understand the reason for the tone of the article. Most of the rules apply to every city park in the the first world. Why does the author refer to it as the "Gospel?"
Now it is normally true that in some areas of any city, police and park workers frequently look the other way on certain regulations. Nevertheless, most people can figure out that brawling in a downtown park is illegal.
So what is the point of these articles? That the city should force these people to another more invisible part of town? That the city should jail the criminals and institutionalize the wackos? That our society hasn't figured out how to force everyone fit in? That the Parks Department is not investing enough of it's scarce resources to win the battle to control the park? That normal people are being driven away by weirdos? That the Parks Department rules are too restrictive? That President Bush should send in federal marshals to clean out the park? That we should shoot the offenders? That the city should build a free hotel for the homeless?
When writing satire or irony, it is easy to avoid responsibility for the implications of the piece. All of the possibilities listed above are politically and/or morally contentious. Since the author's style protects him from the normal requirement of expository writing to present a conclusion, he doesn't have to take intellectual responsibility for the content of his own article. That is why this style should be reserved for situations where the conclusions are obvious and the proposed outcomes inarguably desirable. Neither is true here.
I would like to see the author's conclusions about what the city should do.
July 25, 2008
7:08 a.m.
Suggest removal
roger44 writes:
Make the laws but don't enforce them, seems to be the rule. Many states still have a law against suicide, ever seen them prosecute a body? Either enforce them or tale them off the books.
July 25, 2008
7:13 a.m.
Suggest removal
GHayduke writes:
I go by the Park every morning and I am continually amazed at how fast the place gets trashed. Navigating past the denizens of the area is occasionally problematic. My daughter was assaulted a couple of weeks ago by one of the more unbalanced folks who inhabit the area. It wasn't a big deal, some old bat just went off her rocker for a few minutes and was screaming and swinging at everyone in her path, my daughter didn't see her until too late.
The way the vagrants trash the area, and that includes damn near all of Broadway from Larimer to Speer, is a civic disgrace. Thanks for the article, maybe the powers that be will turn their attention to the problem and hopefully things will improve.
July 25, 2008
8:05 a.m.
Suggest removal
BlueSled writes:
WORST SERIES EVER! Every city has a "Civic Center Park" where people hang out. This newspaper stinks.
July 25, 2008
8:38 a.m.
Suggest removal
M2 writes:
SKATEBOARDING IS NOT A CRIME!
July 25, 2008
9 a.m.
Suggest removal
gs writes:
Parks and Wreck. I'd think two officers walking a beat 24/7 in the park would end the problem. Is this a naive idea? And James I agree with Gene. There is much more to this story.
July 25, 2008
9:12 a.m.
Suggest removal
SL10 writes:
M2, City Park is not a skate boarding park. So, the city can ban the boarders. I was almost knocked over by a boarder who was not watching where if was going 2 years ago. Boarders can be dangerous to us disabled folks who can not walk.
July 25, 2008
9:42 a.m.
Suggest removal
Eagle5 writes:
So, enforce the rules - duhh
July 25, 2008
10:01 a.m.
Suggest removal
M2 writes:
SL10.... skateboarding lead me away from drugs and violence. It was something to do besides get high, intimidate people, get drunk, and break/vandalize property (which we did alot). Skateparks are too crowded and too far to travel on a daily basis to ride. Would you rather me be drinking, smoking ganja, breaking sh!# and robbing people in the park.... or riding my skateboard. I prefer skating. I'm sure most people would agree. I'm sorry someone almost hit you on a skateboard.
July 25, 2008
10:24 a.m.
Suggest removal
SL10 writes:
Eagle6, I wish the city would enforce the law in the park. But, when people call the city to complain, the city's response is always the same "we don't have the manpower to patrol it". I say bull crap I see cops all over the 16th street mall. Some with their thumps up their arse. M2, what you say is true an occupied mind is less likely to get into trouble. But, boarders need to be more mindful of their surroundings as well.
July 25, 2008
11:19 a.m.
Suggest removal
freethought writes:
Build drug re-habs, care centers for the insane and shelters for the homeless.
Then you may have your park back.
July 25, 2008
12:09 p.m.
Suggest removal
Elwood writes:
M2,
Go ahead and do the drugs and vandalize things. Maybe then the police will pick you up and put you in jail where you belong if you can't obey the laws of society.
July 25, 2008
12:10 p.m.
Suggest removal
skeeve writes:
There are many shelters in and re-habs available to the homeless in Denver. The problem...they themselves are not willing to submit to the programs, they prefer the homeless lifestyle. An interesting trend in the park, in the summer they sleep in the park, in the winter, they don't sleep in the park, they sleep in the shelters. Why? Because when it gets cold enough the shelters won't turn anyone away, but as soon as it gets warm enough, the homeless who aren't willing to get jobs, follow the re-hab and take responsibility for their lives come right back to the park, because the shelter requires you to try to better yourself. So where do you think your change really goes?
July 25, 2008
1:03 p.m.
Suggest removal
M2 writes:
The laws of society? "No Skateboarding" You have to be kidding me right? Who are you Ned Flanders? Ohhhh that's great! I love a good laugh on a Friday afternoon. Thanks.
July 25, 2008
2:25 p.m.
Suggest removal
FlyfishDude52 writes:
Who would be an advocate for this type of lifestyle? I must be missing something here...
July 25, 2008
3:14 p.m.
Suggest removal
Marshdale writes:
There has always been a homeless problem, but it was put on steroids when the reagan administration cut funding for mental health institutions.
July 25, 2008
5:13 p.m.
Suggest removal
SL10 writes:
Dam, I always thought Nancy was the one in charge of the Reagan admin? Hmmm.
August 5, 2008
9:23 p.m.
Suggest removal
AmaranthArticia writes:
I'd hardly say skateboarding rules are enforced. My boyfriend filmed 2 hours of his friends skating before the cops told them to leave...as they were packing up to head to the next spot.